Unfair Comments and Reviews-What You Can Learn From the Greats

Check out the reviews of books on Amazon. You will find it worthwhile and you will find some surprises.

For example, a book like “To Kill a Mockingbird”, with 3,664 reviews and an average of 4.7 stars out of a maximum 5. Yet 2% of its reviews are 1 star.

Of the 3,664 reviews 73 people gave it 1 measly star.

Bleak House” by Charles Dickens, a classic book by any definition, and one of the finest books ever written concerning the law, has 3,760 reviews with an average of 4.4 out of 5 stars.

Yet, 4% of the reviewers give it 1 star.

Pick your own favourite book and check the reviews; you will find that at least 2% of reviewers will give 1 star for the best book you have ever read.

Do a search for the greatest book of all time and a Guardian newspaper list gives the number 1 slot to “Don Quixote” by Cervantes. Head over to Amazon.co.uk and you will find that the reviews show that 8% of reviewers give it 1%.

What can you take from this?

When you get a bad review from a client or customer, or critical comments online, or unfair criticism, remember that even the very best, the towering greats in any sphere of activity, are getting 2% of customers to opine that they are crap.

Nobody can serve everybody; just remember this the next time you receive an unfair review or criticism or someone doesn’t like your blog post or YouTube video or service or product.

This is not an excuse for bad service, however, and if the criticism is valid you should be thankful for the person taking the time and giving you the opportunity to improve.

The Most Powerful Tool to Persuade (No, It’s Not the Data)

The older I get the more I recognise the power of story and storytelling.

Take a look at the world in the last few years and the stories that were successfully told:

  • The story Trump told the blue collar workers in the ‘rustbelt’ states in the US during the 2016 presidential election
  • The story Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage and colleagues told to the public in the United Kingdom during the Brexit referendum

Perhaps you have told a compelling story yourself in the last few years. Maybe you have been telling one all your life.

We tell stories to persuade and influence. Stories are powerful and the human mind is particularly receptive to story.

The story we tell ourselves, our family, our friends and colleagues, the Workplace Relations Commission, the Labour Court, Civil Court, Criminal Court, our boss, our schoolteachers, the voter is a powerful tool in whether we will succeed or not.

And when it comes to a dispute, regardless of the venue in which it will be held, the dispute can be boiled down to at least two competing versions of events-two stories.

Whose story will prevail? Whose story is the most compelling? Whose story will the adjudicator ‘prefer’?

I was at an excellent event recently UCD. It was a competition for PhD students to explain in plain language, to a lay audience, the research they were carrying out.

This is not an easy task given the level of complexity of much of the research, and the associated language and science vocabulary.

After each presentation the expert panel of judges asked a few questions of each of the PhD students. One young man presented his interesting research on feeding cocaine to rats as part of a project to look into cures for addiction.

One of the questions from a judge was how the student would persuade industry/business get involved and finance further research into an apparently exciting area. The reply of the student, who would have had no forewarning of the questions, replied, “I would show them the data”.

However, I fear that was the wrong answer because data alone won’t sell anything; story, combined with data, will do the trick, however.

Story is one of the most powerful, and underutilised or badly applied, tools we have at our disposal. We need to use it wisely.

And the first story we need to concern ourselves is the story we tell ourselves.

P.S. Proud to write that my daughter, Rebecca, won that competition.

Learning in The Most Surprising Places

It’s amazing where you will learn stuff if you take the time to observe closely. Let me explain.

There’s a man on YouTube with his own YouTube channel.

Even though the views he espouses are, to my mind, pathetic, odious, chauvinistic, right wing, misogynistic, and repulsive I have learned something from him.

Before I share what I have learnt it is noteworthy that he has over 100,000 subscribers, the vast majority of whom are men. He is a mature man. Not only is he mature, he looks mature, too, for he has grey hair and a well-trimmed grey beard and lives on his own.

I have not paid much heed to his back story or what he has said about his living arrangements, but I gather from the titles of his videos that he lives alone and has been through a great deal of relationships and a divorce or two.

He gives advice to men about love, women, relationships, what it means to be a man, why feminism is to be attacked, and spreads a lot of nonsense bordering on misogyny. But his subscribers love him and see him as the father or grandfather many of them never had.

So he gives this purportedly home spun, worldly advice about all types of things to do with life, especially from a man’s perspective. He even has a video on how to smoke a pipe and he has guys asking him questions about smoking pipes, tobacco, and so forth.

In 2019, for young men to be getting advice on YouTube about the benefits of, and techniques for, smoking a pipe is mind boggling.

But what I have learnt is if you are making a YouTube video, and I make many of them, they don’t have to be all action or edited and cut to ensure there is no dead space or movement.

Because this guy, from time to time, just sits there thinking about choosing the right words to speak and puffing on his pipe. Not in any hurry.

He waits until he is ready, until he has the right words, and he doesn’t edit or cut out the natural contemplation or thinking or ‘dead space’ or choosing of the right words to articulate what he wants to say.

His self confidence in this regard is stunning because the most natural thing in the world for most of us is to either fill the space with some words, somehow, or edit it out before uploading the video to YouTube.

And his YouTube subscriber count continues to grow and grow inexorably with his subscribers and viewers giving him the most positive feedback.

So, it’s amazing what you learn when you are watching closely with an open mind, even if you find the individual or his views anti-diluvian and odious.

2 Bank Holiday Weekends, 2 Banners-Just Politics?

I’ts an easy one to make.

The connection between the simplistic thinking demonstrated by Mary Lou McDonald’s carrying of a banner “England get out of Ireland” in New York on St. Patrick’s Day and the crude, one-dimensional thinking which led to riots in Derry at Easter culminating in the death of Lyra McKee is discernible.

Yet that connection did not prevent Mary Lou from holding up an LGBT banner in Derry when speaking about the tragic loss of the young woman’s tragic death whilst condemning the killing.

Two ‘bank holiday’ weekends, two banners.

Nothing to see here, folks, it’s just politics?

Envy of Meticulous Oral Communication-Is It Too Late to Learn?

I envy the individual who, without the need for coarse or vulgar or oversimplified language, or the need for vocal stumbling and stuttering and ums and ahs and vocal fry, can fully articulate his views on a topic about which he feels strongly.

For example, if I tried to explain my opinion of how odious and repulsive an individual Donald Trump is I get so tongue tied that I do one of two things:

  1. I refrain from entering upon the question at all, or
  2. I revert to bad language and verbal and vocal inarticulation.

I am tremendously frustrated about this, and it’s not just Donald Trump that causes this-no, anything about which I feel strongly has this effect.

I want to conquer this problem, if not entirely, at least to some extent.

Unfortunately, this problem developed years ago when I was going to school and I have never had the desire to do anything about it.

I do now, though, because I appreciate the value of crystal-clear communication through the use of cogent, well chosen, appropriate, accurate thoughts and words. I hope it’s not too late; I don’t think so if I work at it but the first step in addressing the problem is to recognise it.

The next step is to do something about it, and I suspect, but may stand corrected, that the first step may be to articulate the thoughts and feelings in words. I say ‘may’ because there is a danger that the two disciplines-oral communication and written communication-are completely different and one will not necessarily be improved as a consequence of improving the other.

Fantasising About Words

Fyodor Dostoevsky

From time to time I fantasise about writing blog posts in the style of Dickens or Tolstoy or Dostoevsky.

I write a good deal of content for consumption by people on the internet who have limited, and narrowing, attention spans.

To counter this I have employed a technique which writers for the internet, bloggers, and content marketers are advised to use. This involves short words, short sentences, short paragraphs, and lots of white space.

One of the objectives of this technique is to make the content as snackable and accessible as possible. And I know it works because people frequently tell me they love reading my stuff, that I make it easy to read and understand, and so forth.

This is not an accident for this is precisely what I set out to do.

But sometimes I dream about writing a blog post in one or two long sentences-in the style of Charles Dickens, for example.

And I imagine throwing in words that are not short and simple and have only one syllable. But words that are difficult, obscure, rarely used but appropriate for the situation. Words and phrases like ‘dissipation’, ‘urbanity’, ‘agreeable’, ‘disagreeable’, ‘displeasure’, ‘much engaged’, ‘prodigiously’, ‘melancholy’, ‘admonition’, ‘withering scorn’, ‘much occupied by his sagacity’, ‘unreserved intimacy’, ‘unquiet spirit’, and so forth.

Maybe one day, for the sheer hell of it, I will ‘fall to prodigiously’ and break loose.

P.S. All the words and phrases in the paragraph above are from ‘Dombey & Son’ by Charles Dickens, a novel I would recommend enthusiastically.

Especially if you love words.

Feeding the Birds-a 5 Minute Story Out of the Ordinary

Using story is one of the most effective ways of communicating and persuading.

A story can be as short as 3 seconds, or as long as a lifetime.

The video below is a 5-minute story and you will probably recognise the 3 “acts” or “stages” in it. Making this video is the product of a challenge I set myself on a Saturday morning in April: make a story out of something ordinary around my home on an average Saturday.

If you need to influence or persuade, and let’s face it-who doesn’t, you will probably benefit greatly by thinking about how you can use story in your aid.

You can check out my YouTube channel here. It deals with all aspects of Irish law, particularly

  • Employment law
  • Small business
  • Property
  • Personal injuries
  • Probate
  • Litigation

Lawyers Persuading with Effective Word Pictures (and What You Can Learn)

If I was accused of murder I would hate to see Michael Bowman SC prosecuting me. Although if I had Bernard Condon SC defending my chances of acquittal would be greatly enhanced.

My attention has been arrested by the word pictures these two men have been painting for the jury this week in the Patrick Quirke murder trial-that is, the trial involving a so called ‘love triangle’ in Tipperary involving Patrick Quirke, Bobby Ryan, and Mary Lowry.

Leaving aside a close examination of the evidence what I have found fascinating and educational is the ability of these two senior counsels to communicate with the jury in a way that is easily understood.

By painting word pictures.

Let me explain.

Circumstantial evidence

Much, or all, of the evidence against Patrick Quirke is circumstantial.

Anyone who has watched a tv programme involving law/crime knows that circumstantial evidence is not the best evidence you can have. In fact, it can be hugely problematic.

You may have heard the phrase that the evidence was ‘only circumstantial evidence’ and therefore a conviction could not be safely arrived at.

Michael Bowman SC appeared, to this lay observer’s eye, to address this problem when addressing the jury this week. He met the problem head on and dealt with it up front by telling the jury “The human condition can only tolerate so much coincidence before we shake our head and say that is not coincidence – that is planned”.

In other words, he seemed to feel their pain but gave them a perfectly reasonable out: a reason for conviction. He told them it wasn’t their fault, that the human condition could only accept so much as coincidence.

In fact, he planted the image, in my mind anyway, of someone shaking their head and saying ‘enough is enough, this evidence might be circumstantial but this cannot just be explained as a coincidence’.

He then went further and addressed what they the jury had seen during the course of the trial: Patrick Quirke, the accused, appearing as a loving husband and father.

And even then, using their critical faculties, they would be justified in bringing in a guilty verdict.

Mr. Bowman then painted the picture of the victim, Bobby Ryan, as a man “living a quiet and peaceful and content life in a small village, a man who lived his job, a man who loved music, a man who loved to dance, who loved his girlfriend and who very dearly loved his two children.”

He said “Who would want to take the life of such a man? To strip him naked of his worldly possessions and his dignity and leave his body to decompose in a sealed chamber on a farm in Fawnagowan?”

The defence and the train

Then later Mr. Bernard Condon SC for the defence addressed the jury. He, too, painted vivid word pictures for the jury. He told them about a train and train stations. Everyone understands what a train is; nobody will be left behind by being asked to imagine a train station.

But first, he told the jury that much was being made of circumstantial evidence, but he warned that “circumstantial evidence is not a shortcut to convict”.

And then he turned to the train images. He told the jury that when they looked at the evidence, they were taking a journey in the “forensic equivalent to a train”.

He said, “You are being invited by the prosecution to go to the last station on the line, it will be uphill and will twist and curve”. And he said the prosecution should be able to bring them to the very last station on the journey with evidence as the fuel.

“If it isn’t the sort of evidence that you yourself would be happy to be convicted on, if it is not grade-A fuel, you will not get to the station at the top marked guilty,” he said.

Mr Condon said Mr Quirke was “parked in the train station marked innocence” and it was up to the prosecution to move him out of it and they had to do that with evidence.

But he said there was a problem here because “the evidence is thin”. He said, “You will have to pass through several stops, you may go past suspicion station, likelihood station and even probability station, but if you get out there you are in the wrong place for conviction”.

Word pictures and persuasion

I don’t know what the jury will do and, quite frankly, I don’t envy their task.

But the value of images and story in the science and art of persuasion has again been brought forcefully home to me by the powerful use of words and images of these two lawyers at the peak of their powers.

I have written many times before about the value of story:

We can all learn from what these two lawyers are doing, no matter who we seek to persuade or influence.

“The Art of Marketing Your Services Business Online: How to Get New Clients With a Proven, Inexpensive 5 Part Digital Marketing Strategy”-Update in the Pipeline

I was delighted when I checked the latest reviews of my books for sale on Amazon and Kindle.

Reviews, especially bad ones, can break a book’s life; no reviews at all are not helpful either and it is challenging to get readers to leave a review.

I have 6 titles for sale which can be purchased in paperback or Kindle format and all of them have received positive reviews. (You can check them out yourself here).

One book which I have neglected, however,  is “The Art of Marketing Your Services Business Online: How to Get New Clients With a Proven, Inexpensive 5 Part Digital Marketing Strategy”, first published in January, 2016.

I intend rectifying the situation in the next few weeks by updating it with new material. You may think that the strategy I set out in that book must be outdated now and changes in the digital marketing space would render the strategy worthless or irrelevant.

That is not the case at all.

I carried out a review at the weekend to see how my method as outlined in that book compared with the strategies and methods put forward by other digital marketing practitioners/teachers at that time.

And I am still executing the same strategies with a great deal of success and the three contemporaries who I researched at the weekend have quit what they were recommending back in 2015/2016.

I am certain that what I have set out in my book is sound and works like gangbusters but there are some significant improvements that I have made in the years since first publication. So, my strategy is essentially the same but I would recommend some tweaks and enhancements, especially in the area of advertising on certain social media platforms.

These are the areas I will be focusing on when I update in the next few weeks. Meanwhile the 5 steps I have enunciated in the original book are as sound and relevant today as they were then. Not only am I taking the same 5 steps now on a weekly basis, but I have added some enhancements which I am looking forward to sharing in the updated version.

The 1 Thing I Have Learned from Losing 3.5 Stone

From August 2018 to date, April 2019, I have lost 3.5 stone weight.  And the most important thing I have learned from the exercise has not been about the food I eat or the exercise I take.

No, these things are important, alright, but they are not the most important thing. The most important thing I will tell you later but first I will tell you how I managed it.

There is no mystery, no huge secret, no fad diet, no ‘Hollywood’ diet; I followed the RTE Operation Transformation programme. I stuck rigidly with the eating plans and the exercise and the weight slowly but inexorably reduced.

The Operation Transformation programme was the tool I used, and I could not recommend it highly enough.

Habit formation

My target is to lose 4 stone and I am confident I will achieve this provided I apply the one lesson I have learned-that is, the weight loss is less about what I eat and all about something else: habit(s).

Habit formation is the key.

Losing bad habits, developing good ones. This is the one critically important lesson I have learned and taken from the exercise.

It is a lesson that is applicable in all parts of life and there have been countless books written about habits, getting rid of destructive ones and creating new, useful ones. Two popular and well-regarded books dealing with habits are:

The takeaway for me is often you must look for the “thing under the thing” to alter your behaviour and win the outcome you are seeking.

In my case it was the development of good habits and the eradication of destructive habits around food that was the primary step in losing the weight, and not an all-consuming focus on calorie counting or other method of score keeping what I was consuming.